How much of your time do you spend over-doing things never taking any breaks because you don’t think you should?

Are you a workaholic without knowing it? Are you able to simply relax and do nothing? Do you often catch yourself being self-critical, putting yourself down, believing you are not good enough? Do you interpret most situations as being the result of your own incapability? Or do you blame yourself for everything?

If yes, then you are most likely struggling with some form of anxietydepressiontraumaburnout or some other stress condition. We can sometimes be hard on ourselves without necessarily suffering from mental health.

I have personally been battling with myself in that way for many years until I recently made the profound realization that I AM GOOD ENOUGH.

I was in a state of ‘dysregulation’.

Dysregulation is when our mind and our body are not in harmony with each other. We do not often notice when we are dysregulated. Here are a few ways to assess whether you are in a state of dysregulation, which can range from mild to severe:

– Physical pain, fever, irritation, tension, shortness of breath, heart palpitation, dizziness, faint etc.

This happens when the body is ignored.

– Our mind is preoccupied by the past, the future and/ or anything other then the present moment.

It is as though neither our body nor our mind know each other. Isn’t it ironic that although our mind and body are in the same vessel, they are strangers? You probably know more about a task, a project, a pet, a friend then you do of yourself. Some people will spend a life time never truly meeting or knowing themselves.

For many people, it is not until they experience some form of breakdown that affects their ability to function that they seek professional help.

We don’t need to have a breakdown to start a journey towards harmony  or self-regulation.

We create so many invisible barriers in our minds.

These are based on sets of subconscious thoughts and beliefs that were passed on to us through our education, our social experiences, our culture, our environment, that lead us to a most certain state of dysregulation and for many reasons we never dare to challenge.

I have met so many people that will, to some degree or another, insist that “they have to get the highest grade”, “to be the winner”, “to earn more money”, “to have more friends”, “to study business or finance because their father told them so”, “to produce and sell more”, “to show everybody that they are the best” and the list is endless. Many of these people are struggling to have any of these and those that do have them are still not satisfied. Why?

From the earliest age we are taught to compete with one another instead of being taught values based on embracing differences, identifying aspects of sameness, building a collective sense of unity and teachings based on interconnectedness with not only other human beings but with all other species and nature.

As long as we are taught values based on competing with one another then we will continue to indirectly encourage dysregulation / disharmony / disconnection.

All it takes is to start to individually challenge our thoughts and beliefs, the very notion ‘of doing more to do more, to be better than, to be separate from’ and instead begin to invite each other to learn to reframe our minds on ‘being good enough the way we are’.

If we give each other ample space to express our creative differences in an environment that will embrace that difference we would be bridging yet another gap in our ocean of interconnectedness.

It is when I can truly let go of my old thinking patterns that I begin to develop flexibility of thought. This is what will gradually allow me to understand how doing less can truly give me so much more.

If you have any questions about this subject or would like to add anything else, please do not hesitate to comment below or share this blog to others. Together we make a difference!


  1. Nouneh

    Well, this is what exactly is happening with me. But we live in a materialistic world and doing less will bring some disappointments to our lives, our dependents’lives.

    • Jeremy Alford

      Hi Nouneh, apologies for the very late reply. In fact, your message was just brought to my attention. I will have to be more careful from now on 🙂 Thank you for sharing your comment on this blog. In fact, when you say ‘our dependent lives’ at the end, you are very right. It is our ‘dependent’ lives that keep us from embracing flexibility of thought. And the reason we are dependent has a lot to do with self-preservation. We prefer to stick with what we are familiar with rather than treading into unfamiliar territory. Having flexibility of thought means to be open and adaptable. However, it is only by taking a leap of faith into an unknown that one can discover something new.
      Doing less is not synonymous with making less in the materialistic world we live in. ‘Less is more’ is more about allowing oneself to challenge the way in which we are going by our daily routines, the way we think and conceive about what we think may or may not be important that will allow for better adaptation and therefore a more flexible outlook on our lives.
      This is how we can re-invent our life and introduce more balance regardless of the materialistic world we are in.


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